Owner of a Molten Heart


HAHAhahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa OK I think that’s funniest in my own head. You know, like the song? No?

Anyway, it’s appropriate because my fridge is right now home to a six-layered heart-shaped cake which is covered in a substance reminiscent to one last seen in Ghostbusters 2. It doesn’t look a *lot* more appealing than it sounds, either. I’m hopeful that, once it’s set for a day or so, I’ll be able to tidy it up. In the meantime, it looks like this:

Which also reminds me of this:

That photo comes from Den of Geek and is absolutely not mine in any way.

I’ve left the ridge of icing pooled at the bottom because I think that removing it would be like taking the bottom block away in Jenga, and that the rest of the icing would then come waterfalling down the sides; not an improvement. I suppose this is what I get for trying to make a girly cake.

The heart cake itself is white chocolate sponge in what I *hope* will slice up to be rainbow colours. Certainly my hands are dyed in rainbow colours, so if the cake doesn’t turn out I’ll be pretty miffed. Turns out that orange is hard to make, but we’ll just have to wait and see. It’ll be getting sliced on Thursday, I will take pictures. Unless it’s an unmitigated disaster and then I’ll strive never to mention it again, and if anyone else brings it up I’ll simply glare at them until they cease and desist.  The layers are sandwiched together with the same pink stuff, which will set into a delicious raspberry and cream cheese icing, and I will probably further decorate it with some kind of sprinkles or a bit of writing icing. The reason that the icing is currently something that reminds me of both ectoplasm and an android’s severed head is that I ran out of icing sugar, having been making a lot of cake lately. I thought I had a 1kg bag in there, but I seem to have used it up. Either that or it’s escaped. There is a tiny little bowl of leftover icing also setting in the fridge, to held me smooth over any rough surfaces.

The fridge is also home to a great big bowl of chocolate buttercream, which is to be applied to the chocolate orange cupcakes I also made tonight. I’ve been ever so busy, and I’m ever so tuned to the moon from the combination of multi tasking and surviving on cake mix and icing. I saw fit to add a glass of Irn Bru to this evening’s repast, too. It’s possible that I may never sleep again with all the E numbers.

A side note: how much icing sugar do you think one person can inhale before it has serious consequences? I think I might be approaching the event horizon on that one. Incorrect use of the phrase ‘event horizon’ there, I’m pretty sure, but I like the way it sounds. I also like the word ‘quesadilla’. Quesadeeeeeeeeeeeeya. Try it.

The cupcakes and heart cake are two of this week’s three cakes. The third is for my dad’s birthday on Saturday, and will be a toffee drizzle layer cake with butterscotch-caramel icing. The icing is left over from the chocolate mayonnaise cakes I made before, it’s been living in my freezer. So have two separate bags of toffee sauce, so the cake’s half made already. I have a good sticky toffee pudding recipe by (oddly) Richard E Grant, and I know from experience that it’s easy to put together, so I intend on doing that on Thursday, between getting home from work and then heading back out – I’ve got about a two hour window. While the toffee cake’s in the oven, I’m going to ice the chocolate orange cupcakes. I’ll then leave the toffee cake to soak p the toffee drizzle while I’m out, and will apply the icing to it when I got home, if it’s a reasonable hour and I’m reasonably sober, or on Friday (with the same provisos). Sounds like an achievable, if perhaps challenging, plan.

Watch this space…

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About Rock Salt

Seasoning while rocking out since 1983. View all posts by Rock Salt

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